I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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