what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
