Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
