Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
