My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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