garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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