FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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