Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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