she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
