i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
