He is such a slut. More and more my type.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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