I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
