If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it was like eating out sand paper
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
then he tried to convert me to islam
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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