honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
