When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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