it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize