what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
