saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
where are my eyebrows?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
