look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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