i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
