It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This is classic penis vs brain.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
