i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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