Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
