My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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