brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
