yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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