I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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