Whod you bang
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
