at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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