remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
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STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
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To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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