Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
