oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
