Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
