so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
