His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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