You kept calling me your small dog last night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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