the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
