the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize