uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
