Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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