I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
