this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize