Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
