scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wear drunk well.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
