I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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