Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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