I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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