Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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