The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I intend to get homeless drunk
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
