It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize