Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
