My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
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