Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
