"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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