whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
