You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize