I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm at about main and main street
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
