Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
