Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
