12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
