I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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