is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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