If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
nutella sex= disaster
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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