we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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