Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize