super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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