dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
