The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We got so high we made milksteak
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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