Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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