i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
