Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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