we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
