i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize