tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
They have beer where we have blood.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
